Sonder and Austrian Memories
Noun. sonder (uncountable) (neologism) The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.
Sonder. Give any person a date and they will be able to tell you what they were doing during that time. Let's try this out... The summer of 2010. What comes to your mind?
I remember my dad opening the door of our new apartment. We had just arrived in Vienna and were now moving in. Vienna has a lot of apartments that are so-called "Altbau" (literally translated it means old build) and they are very distinct in their old doors, flooring, windows, and very very high ceilings. Coming from a normal apartment in Damascus to this fancy Viennese one you can imagine how I felt. For the first time ever, I have my own room too! It's empty right now and the only thing there is in it is a mattress on the floor. I run around the apartment and explore the rooms. By far the largest living room and while I'm at it the largest apartment I had ever been in. I lay down on the mattress in my chilly, small, and white room and immediately fall asleep.
It was one of those naps you wake up from not knowing which day it is. On top of that, I'm in a new room so I wake up really confused and it takes me some time to adjust and remember. The sun is still out so my dad decides we can go to the supermarket. It's Sunday though and the only supermarket open in the whole city is at a place I later learn is called Praterstern. To go there we take a tramway (aaa it's the first time I ever see one of those, we didn't have them in any other country so far) or as it's called in German Strassenbahn.
Over the next 8 years, I spend my time learning German, going to four different schools, meeting a lot of people, and forming myself to be the person I am today. German itself was funny, I very quickly learned how to ask people in parks whether I could play with them, how to order food and ask if I may go to the bathroom at school. I remember a day during the first month where I was still learning the numbers and I went to the supermarket with my sister and my dad. We only got something small, and the cashier told us in German "das macht elf euro, bitte" (that makes eleven euros, please) and I was just blown away. Elf sounds like the Arabic ألف ('alf) which means 1000. I knew things would cost more in Vienna and all but a thousand euros for just a couple of batteries and some sweets?!
People were always very surprised at how fast I had learned German, but only 8 years later did I finally feel comfortable expressing myself in it. It took me way too long to finally like speaking German and it only took a proper teacher that encouraged me. During my last year of high school, I switched from an average Austrian school, or Gymnasium as they call it, to one in Istanbul. That's where I had the best teachers so far and my German teacher really made me feel like my German isn't absolute shit, and that made me improve on it so much. It's strange how far a bit of encouragement takes you.
Anyway, the summer of 2010 is when my German journey started. Where were you? What were you doing? I really can't get over the idea that every single person sees things differently and that they have their own complete lives. Something I love to do is imagining where my friends were they were and what they were experiencing during times before we met. And it's always mind-blowing when you both remember exactly what you did on a specific day when you two were 14 years old and didn't know of the existence of the other. Now we're here together for a while, but we'll meet people in 1 year, in 5, in 10, that we currently know absolutely nothing about. Aaaa it's all just so weird. Think about it. Ponder, wonder, sonder.
P.S. I feel like there's way too much to say but I know I can't just write out everything, right? That'll just end up being an entire book- wait, that's an idea...
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